My name is Aerie
by Kazaera
Summary: A rather alternate look at our favourite Avariel. Dark, very minor spoilers for Irenicus and Spellhold.


Disclaimer: Aerie, Bhaal, Baldur's Gate, the Forgotten Realms et al. do not belong to me and I am not making any profit from this.

A/N: An... alternate view of Aerie. Warnings: Dark, very different from most portrayals. Minor spoilers for Irenicus and Spellhold.

* * *

The girl lay awake in the darkness.

_My name is Aerie._

Memory was fleeting, all too often falling into the empty hole torn into her mind. A whirlwind of memories, both happy and painful, faded and new - all torn asunder, vanishing. It was all she could do to grasp at the strands, hold them tight for a moment before they were lost.

_My name is Aerie._

She remembered her childhood, in the city of winged ones high up in the mountain. She remembered her mother - smiling, laughing, dancing in the winds. Loving and gentle, yet with pain behind her eyes.

She couldn't remember her face.

_My name is Aerie._

She remembered the darkness - the dreams of blood, of death. The voice, always whispering at the edge of her mind. The rage threatening to overwhelm her. The looks of the city council - wary, almost afraid, and the light of hatred in their eyes.

She remembered the day they sent her away.

_My name is Aerie._

She remembered her mother dying, though only vaguely. She remembered the sun playing through hewn-crystal windows into the council room, but not what was said. She remembered the anger, the fear, the loss, the crushing knowledge that she had been rejected. She remembered being called a beast, unworthy of living in their city, and that only her mother had prevented them from doing this before...

_My name is Aerie._

She did not remember leaving the city, nor but glimpses of the travels that followed. She remembered being afraid - afraid of the evil outside and the evil within. Afraid of those who would prey on a young winged one all alone, and afraid of what she would do to them.

_My name is Aerie._

She remembered the first of the encounters, though none of the others. A raven-haired human who laughed as she tried to kill her. She remembered fleeing into the air from the darkness, the madness in that hunter, and thinking _This is my sister._

_My name is Aerie._

She did not remember her capture, or much of what happened after. She remembered pain, blinding pain, and a voice screaming. She remembered waking up covered in blood to find that her wings were gone.

She did not remember her captor's face.

_My name is Aerie._

She remembered the agony of the final experiment and the emptiness that followed. She did not remember how she had escaped, if escaped she had, or how long she had wandered in madness until Quayle found her.

_My name is Aerie._

She remembered the gnome singing to her, washing her, cutting her hair. She remembered lashing out at him with fingers that were more like claws. She remembered his blood on her hands.

_My name is Aerie._

She did not remember regaining her senses, nor of telling Quayle her story. She remembered him sitting with her, helping her re-learn so many things. How to eat, how to drink. How to walk and speak, although that stutter would never leave her now. How not to attack strangers on sight. How to keep the rage bottled away within where no one could see. How to act as people expected, rather than the emotionless shell she had become. She remembered he had tried to teach her to feel.

She remembered killing him. He had known too much.

_My name is Aerie._

She remembered that she would never have done such a thing before. She remembered that she would have been condemned any who did.

She did not remember why.

_My name is Aerie._

She did not remember the illusions, the circus, although she pretended. She remembered feeling larger, ungainlier, but no less empty on the inside. She remembered seeing someone approach and playing her role to the hilt.

She remembered learning of her tormentor.

_My name is Aerie._

_Irenicus._ She remembered the rage awakening, near swallowing her in its intensity. She remembered struggling to keep it in control, but the mask held.

_My name is Aerie._

She remembered realising what her "savior" must be, and the danger that came with it. She remembered begging to be allowed to come with them all the same, for her need was greater.

_My name is Aerie._

It would not be long now. Her soul awaited.

As did her vengeance.

_My name is Aerie._

The memories were whirling out of her grasp.

_My name is... my name is... **what is my name?**_

In the darkness, Aerie sat up and screamed.


End file.
